If you’re reading this blog post, then perhaps you or someone you know is contemplating a New Jersey divorce. You may have important questions that need to be answered, such as:
• Should I leave or stay in the marital residence?
• How is custody addressed in the interim?
• How are assets divided?
• What can I do to make sure my spouse does not dissipate marital funds?
• How does the Court system work?
• How do I find a qualified New Jersey Divorce Lawyer?
Through my years of family law practice I’ve learned that the better informed my clients are, the easier it is to assist them through their important and unique legal issues. Courts, attorneys, the law itself–these things can be intimidating at first. I hope this book helps make the process less so.
It’s important that you take steps to understand your rights and the legal process. Divorce likely will impact your finances, your lifestyle, and most importantly your children. Moving through the process informed and with the right attorney can have a huge impact on the outcome and on your life.
Sometimes in particularly tough cases, particularly when my clients start to deviate from my advice, I think of the scene in the great movie Jerry Maguire where sports agent Jerry Maguire begs his football star client Rod Tidwell to follow his advice. “Help me, help you,” the character Jerry Maguire pleads over and over. I can relate…
In one sense, an attorney-client relationship is not dissimilar from a doctor-patient relationship: the client (or patient) must take an active role in obtaining the desired results. A doctor can advise a patient with high blood pressure to watch their sodium intake, but it is the patient’s responsibility to eat more celery and less fast food (I know, I know, I’m working on it!).
Likewise, an attorney can warn a divorce client to stop posting to Facebook pictures of the client “partying” while engaged in a contested custody dispute, but if that advice is not heeded, then those pictures may later materialize as evidence used against the client.
One of the primary goals of my practice is to advise my clients how they can help increase their own odds of success. Here are just a few of my tips for how you can help achieve great results in your divorce or family law case.
1. Keep a Journal/Log. In family law matters, there exists an almost unlimited number
of issues that can arise. Keeping a log may not only prove to be evidentiary at a later court hearing but will also assist in your keeping track of the process.
2. Don’t Lose Your Temper. As the old courthouse wisdom goes: “Lose your temper,
lose your case.” Text messages, phone conversations, and emails are often used in court to demonstrate domestic violence, lack of fitness of a parent, and many other issues. What may seem like blowing off steam in the heat of the moment may later be taken out of context or used to demonstrate a pattern. Anger may also hurt your odds of quickly settling a case and will impact your ability to focus on and achieve your goals.
3. Consider Meeting with a Mental Health Expert. It is often helpful for those going through a divorce to meet with a mental health professional. The saying that a divorce is worse than a death in the family is, according to most of my clients, very accurate. Having access to a professional in your corner can help alleviate some of the stress or even simply provide coaching to unlock post-divorce goals.
4. Be Very Careful When Using Social Media. When you go on Facebook or ‘Tweet’
something; be careful. Again, many things can be taken out of context and it’s easier for others to access your social media information than you might expect. You should also note that what has already been posted may be required to remain online as once a suit is filed non-spoliation of evidence is often required. You should access your online profiles and modify them appropriately prior to the divorce filing.
5. Take Notes and Store Documents in One Safe Location. When you speak with your attorney or something important occurs in your case, take notes. You should ideally maintain a notebook/ binder of all important documentation and information relating to your case. For this reason we often give our clients a binder or folder to organize all of their information. Keep this binder in a safe/private place.
6. Get Your Finances in Order. Make a list of all bank accounts, maintain copies of most recent statements, write down important online banking logins and passwords, and otherwise fully understand the marital assets and debts prior to filing for divorce. This will assist you should your spouse attempt to dissipate marital funds. Likewise, do not commingle non-marital funds (such as gifts, inheritances, or personal injuries monies), particularly if you are considering divorce, as such action may convert such “exempt” funds into “joint marital” funds.
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Your Attorney Questions. You hired an attorney in part to have someone available to answer those questions. At Taylor Divorce Law, LLC, you are encouraged to have an open-dialogue with counsel so that you’re both on the same page and can obtain the best results relating to YOUR specific priorities.
There are many more ways a client can assist in reducing the costs of litigation, strengthening their case, and helping to achieve greater results in their case. When dealing with the Court system—things can sometimes feel a little outside the client’s control —but focusing on what can be controlled or impacted should help both attorney and client achieve a successful outcome to the case. And of course it goes without saying that my bonus tips is to learn as much as you can about the divorce and from the right sources.
Google (and AI) can be great, but laws are state specific and they are always changing. I know that you’re the type of person that wants to be informed if you’re doing your research, such as reading this blog post. I recommend that you read my book on New Jersey divorce law, which you can subscribe below to receive for free. That type of commitment to self-education will pay dividends for you and for your children throughout the divorce process.
Partner with Carl Taylor, Esq.
Ready to Find Your Happily EVEN After? Call Today at 609-359-3345 to Schedule a Confidential Consult (or click here to self-schedule online) and Receive a Free Copy of the 3rd Edition of my 200+ page book, Happily EVEN After: The Guide to Divorce in New Jersey.
