When it comes to parenting time for business owners, I have good news and bad news for you. This will not come as a surprise, for what else is new in the world of an entrepreneur?
Positives and Negatives of Business Ownership on Parenting Time in a Divorce
The good news is, you are a business owner: on average, you have far more control over your day than a W-2 employee.
The bad news is, you are a business owner: on average, you have far less hours available to you each week. The words 9-5 don’t really apply to you, the small business owner. And when there is a disaster or emergency, you’re often the first to arrive and the last to leave.
Because isn’t that the great tradeoff? We may not be able to vacation all that often, but we can usually take a couple of hours in the middle of the day to catch our child’s soccer game. Hours we will have to make up later that night, of course.
Nuance in Parenting Time Arrangements for Business Owners
This is difficult, as most parenting time plans are of the set it and forget it variety. One week on, one week off. One parent gets the school week, the other the weekends. You each get two weeks vacation in the summer. Or, one parent lives far away so they get the whole summer and the other parent most of the school year. Routines, that fit very nice and tidy into a post-divorce life.
But that is not the way of the business owner. It is hard to pick up your children from school, when there is a work emergency that only you can fix. It is nearly impossible to plan a day ahead, let alone a week or a month. And the other side will attempt to exploit this. They will argue that you cannot share joint physical custody, that you should be punished for all the time you spent away from the house and your children building your business. As if you wish there was not a better way! Your ambition will be turned into a weapon, all the sacrifices you made for your family will be altered into a pair of sharp scissors across the fabric of your post-divorce life. If you allow it.
Parenting Time Strategies for Business Owners
So, what can be done? The time machine has not yet been invented, so you currently stand where you are regarding parenting time. That said, the more you can partake in important actions early in the divorce process, or before divorce is filed, the better. Be the parent who takes your children to and from school, assist with homework, tuck them in at night, and make them breakfast the next morning, for that matter. If you are already doing these things, then great. If not, start to get more involved. Not in cynical way, but in a “be the best parent you can be” sort of way.
If your ex is not available for the children, and would normally have your in-laws watch the children, then volunteer to take it on yourself. The children should either be with your spouse, or with you, if it can be helped. Even if you do not have a sufficient claim to 50%-50% physical custody, then at least make sure you are taking the percentage of time the children are being babysat or watched by somebody else. This will help with any parenting time negotiations or parenting time issues that arise at trial.
If contested custody or parenting time are likely to be an issue in your divorce, then you and your attorney should strategize early in the process. You should discuss what your reasonable goals are, not just to gain an upper hand in the litigation, but moving forward in your child (or children’s) best interests.
As I often tell my clients, I can get you where you want to go, but I need to know which direction we’re headed. We will then need to work on obtaining the parenting plan that works best with your schedule, that of your ex, and that of your children. Quality of time is just as important as quantity of time; even though the child support guidelines care more about overnight parenting time, it is the time when our children are awake that fills us with the most wonder. An unencumbered weekend may be favorable to weeknights spent on a soccer field watching a travel soccer practice with no time to actually interact with your child.
Conclusion
The point is, just as you are unique, and your children are unique, then it is self-evident that your parenting time schedule should also reflect unique qualities. Basic formulas or one-size-fits-all packages may be easy for the courts, or even most attorneys, but as a business owner you are well aware of the power and importance of differentiation.
The earlier you can determine your goals and convey them to the appropriate divorce attorney, then the earlier you can make strides toward a favorable outcome. Not only for yourself, but also for your children.
Partner with Carl Taylor, Esq.
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