Money can be a tricky thing in any marriage. When you fear your spouse may be divorce planning, red flags can swiftly become real wounds. In this blog post I’m going to review a common situation for many divorce clients: they are being locked out of their own finances by their spouse.
My Spouse Won’t Share Our Financial Information
There are various reasons why your spouse may not choose to share financial information with you, and they do not all spell divorce. Perhaps your spouse is simply secretive by nature, perhaps they are involved in something like gambling or some other habit they do not want you to be aware of, maybe it’s an affair, and maybe it’s nothing at all. That’s what makes these types of situations so difficult: you may not know exactly what you’re dealing with.
Here are some questions to ask when you’re concerned about a lack of transparency in your marital finances:
- Is there a change in behavior, or has there always been a lack of transparency?
- Are there any good faith reasons your spouse would not want you to be involved in your marital finances?
- Have you always kept your finances separate?
- Are you providing your spouse with more information and access to your finances than is being reciprocated?
- What is your gut telling you?
Even if your spouse is not seeking a divorce, “shady” behavior could be indicative of anything from engaging in potentially illegal behavior (tax fraud, for instance) to something as innocuous as wanting to surprise you with a gift for your birthday. Again, it’s the inability to know that makes these types of situations so precarious.
Marriage Means Joint Finances, at Least in the Eyes of the Law
Even if you choose to maintain separate finances, court’s and judges often view marital assets and liability as just that—joint. If your spouse is incurring debts, then you may be equally as responsible for them.
With the exception of certain classes of assets such as non-commingled gifts, inheritances, personal injury awards/worker’s compensation awards (the portion relating to pain and suffering), and premarital assets, most items are subject to equitable distribution in a divorce.
Should I Be Concerned That My Spouse Is Not Sharing Financial Information? Is it Divorce Planning?
Many times a party going silent to finances may be a red flag for what is known as “divorce planning.” For instance, a spouse may stop sharing information about assets so that they may be shifted or hidden in cash, in other asset classes such as Bitcoins, or the like.
As my national article for other divorce lawyers on cryptocurrencies and divorce explains, there are many methods at play for the hiding or attempted hiding of assets in a divorce (or as part of divorce planning).
So the short answer is yes, you should be concerned about divorce planning if your normally transparent spouse is now acting shady or attempting to hide financial information from you.
Such actions also make it harder for you and your divorce lawyer to understand how to proceed in the negotiation or divorce trial. Too many times have I sat across from someone at an initial consultation and it has not been as helpful as it should be for us, because they have been locked out of their own finances.
And although there are ways to track down finances, including hiring experts such as forensic accountants, it’s harder to delve into the past and to strategize when such information is unknown. It’s also more costly. The longer this goes on, unchecked, the more difficult it may be for you to receive what is fair in your divorce. And if you do, it may be at great cost.
How Can I Protect Myself from Divorce Planning?
Transparency should be the rule in most marriages when it comes to finances. Although every couple has their own unique financial quirks, more communication is often better than less.
Here are some ways you can ensure you are protected from a spouse’s attempts at “divorce planning.”
- * Request to be a joint owner of all assets (as feasible, it’s not possible to be a joint owner of certain assets such as IRA retirement funds, for example).
- * Ask to have a weekly or monthly meeting to discuss your finances.
- *Request all passwords and login information for your finances and debts.
- *Ask to be present at meeting with your accountant and other financial experts.
- *If you suspect your spouse is not being one hundred percent forthright with you, then consider meeting with a marriage therapist together, or a divorce lawyer (on your own) to discuss.
By being part of the decision making, you stand a better chance of not being frozen out from your own marital finances. And remember: in most marriages in New Jersey those finances are joint whether you and your spouse consider them to be or not.
Conclusion
As with many things, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. By working with your spouse, you help protect your own interests while helping to ensure the strength of your marriage. Financial issues are the cause of most divorces, and finances become one of the most important topics in almost any divorce that proceeds.
Make sure you are protected now, to mitigate against future harm.
Partner with Carl Taylor, Esq.
Ready to Find Your Happily EVEN After? Call Today at 609-359-3345 to Schedule a Confidential Consult (or click here to self-schedule online) and Receive a Free Copy of the 3rd Edition of my 200+ page book, Happily EVEN After: The Guide to Divorce in New Jersey.
