Getting Divorced in the New Year

Firm “Mascot” Isla Celebrating the Holiday Season

The New Year is a time of the year that we begin to assess where we are going in our lives.  Like our birthdays, the New Year is a time-marker requiring us to take a step back and think about who we are, where we’ve been, and where we’re heading.

During Thanksgiving and Christmas we embody the status quo and do our best to get along with our family. But despite the celebrations of New Year’s Eve, January 1 usually brings with it feelings of hope mixed in with some existential dread. 

January 1 is when we recommit to the gym.  When we make our new year’s resolutions.  When we take a moment to set new goals.  The world is another year older, and so are we. 

Perhaps for this reason, the new year is also one of the busiest times to file for divorce.  As addressed in my first ever Podcast, many people consider the new year the perfect time to file for divorce.  As part of the holiday spirt our firm has decided to give free divorce consults during the remainder of December and all of January. 

For those considering divorce in the New Year, we have also recently addressed via a blog post how the federal tax change will impact how alimony is taxed, essentially making the payment or receipt of alimony a non-event for purposes of taxation. 

For those contemplating a divorce in 2019, perhaps now is the time to consider marriage therapy.  Many people feel deeply conflicted about filing for divorce.  In my experience, I have seen people who have probably given up too early on a marriage and I have seen plenty of people who have probably hung in too long.  Therapy, whether as an individual or in couple’s therapy may be a useful tool in looking through the pros and cons of making such a decision. 

If your holiday is bitter-sweet or marred by the prospect of a failing marriage, we are here and we understand.  Feel free to call us today or book a consultation online via our main webpage and we can help walk you through your likely rights and responsibilities should you determine to file for divorce in the New Year. Our primary telephone number at Carl Taylor Law is 908-237-3096.  

Happy holidays and here is to a productive, healthy, and prosperous 2019!

Carl Taylor Law: Divorce and Family Law Podcast: Episode 1, December 15, 2018

In an effort to increase the types of avenues available to communicate and assist those facing New Jersey Divorce and Family Law Issues, our firm has started a PodCast.  I will endeavor to provide a new podcast episode every month or so with updates on the law, tips and information, and a general discussion of divorce and family law in our state.  As a divorce lawyer I believe it’s important that people are educated about our laws and about the personal impact of getting divorced in our State.  Below are links to the first episodes, one addressing frequently asked questions but now also in an audio format, and the other the official first episode of the Carl Taylor Law Divorce and Family Law Podcast.

Thanks for listening and I appreciate any comments on how to improve the Podcast as we move forward with this “experiment.”  

Happy holiday season from Carl Taylor Law, LLC

Episode 0, December 15, 2018 (Frequently Asked Questions, Audio Edition). Embedded in Site Edition, Download Edition

Episode 1, December 15, 2018 (Carl Taylor Law Divorce and Family Law Podcast, Embedded in Site Edition, Download Edition

What if I’m not Ready to Get Divorced?

When people first visit my office as prospective divorce clients they are not always ready to file for divorce. 

Some people are ready to file immediately.  Some have already filed without an attorney and now want to hire a lawyer.  Sometimes I get people who were dissatisfied with their lawyer.  Many people are in therapy and hoping it will work out but exploring the process in case it doesn’t.  Some may not outright admit it but perhaps they are looking to “divorce plan” and see what they may do now to improve their situation should they need to file in the future.  Others are ready to file or to consider mediation or other more amicable forms of divorce.  Some want “legal separation” and I explain there is no such thing in New Jersey (divorce from Bed and Board is the closest thing we have to it).  Some prospective clients have finished with mediation and have a non-binding memorandum of understanding that they wish to finalized.  Some have a divorce agreement proposed by their spouse that they wish for me to review.  Some have gotten divorced, remarried the same person, and how wish to divorce again. 

Saving the Marriage…or Not…

So what’s the point of the somewhat long-winded list above? Simply this: to let anyone reading this and contemplating a divorce to know that it’s ok if you’re not ready to file for divorce.  It’s ok if your main goal is to “save” your marriage.  It’s ok to feel conflicted and it would be unnatural not to. 

Few people enter into a marriage without a lot of thought and likewise few exit a marriage without considering the ramifications of that decision.  There are bills to be paid, children to be raised, and assets to divide. Beyond that there are emotions–sometimes intense emotions to resolve. There may be feelings of loss, of betrayal, and of guilt. Talking to a divorce attorney does not mean you are going to move forward with a divorce. I see certain clients where I believe it may be in their best interests to get divorced, but it’s not my decision and I will aim to never judge anyone for whether they stay in or out of a marriage.  It’s not a decision that anyone from the outside can understand, not even divorce lawyers. 

So if you’re contemplating a divorce in 2019 but uncertain how to proceed.  That is ok.  If you’ve met with an attorney months earlier and now wish to proceed, there is no need to feel embarrassed about returning to that same attorney if you are now ready.  As divorce lawyers, we are used to the “funnel.” of new clients.  We meet with people and some retain us on the spot, some we never hear from again, and others we hear from months or even years later saying they were not ready when we first met but now they are.  That is normal and that is ok.  If you’re not ready to move forward yet that is perfectly normal.  And if you are, we’re here to help.

To schedule a consult with Carl Taylor Law, LLC, call 908-237-3096 to set up a time to meet for a confidential divorce consultation.  

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